Watching sports?

“How you can just sit there and watch sports all day? You don’t even care who wins. You’re nuts!” screamed my wife as she passed through the downstairs TV room on her way out the door to walk the dog. Countless times in our 38 years of marriage, I’ve heard the same harsh words. Sure, I’ve logged plenty of serious couch time over the past three plus decades, but she’s wrong … I’ve never literally watched sports all day. So just for the hell of it, on Saturday, December 5, 2009, I thought I’d try.

7:00 AM: Saturday dawns, if one could call it that, in dreary, rainy fashion. The local forecast calls for temperatures in the 30s with the showers turning to snow later in the morning, the kind of truly miserable New England late autumn day that makes Florida snowbirds of many local retirees and provides a perfect excuse to stay inside. This morning’s Boston Globe lists 36 live games on its TV sports schedule, beginning with English Premier League soccer at 7:30 AM and ending with the Wisconsin-Hawaii college football matchup at 11:30 PM. But I have access to even more. The Directv Sports Package and ESPN 360 on my computer offer numerous additional options. Let the games begin!
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7:30 AM: Breakfast with English Premier League soccer, a fixture involving lower echelon sides Burnley and. Portsmouth at Fratton Park in Portsmouth. In fact, Portsmouth, at the bottom of the table, is almost a lock for relegation, while Burnley is a mere 5 points above the bottom tier. (Relegation is that unique soccer concept in which the bottom three teams in a division are dropped to the next lowest division for the following year and replaced with the top three teams from the lower division. This results in late season games between bottom-feeding teams being contested with unreal ferocity as relegation could cost them millions in lost TV and ancillary revenue )

In typical EPL rock ‘em, sock ‘em action before a raucous Portsmouth crowd, the teams have at each other. At the 31 minute mark, a Portsmouth forward drops like he was shot as he brushes against a defender in the Burnley penalty area. For this blatant dive, Portsmouth is awarded a penalty shot, but justice is served. Aruna Didane’s kick is blocked as is his weak header on the rebound. Surprise … score is tied 0-0 at the half. Finally, Hreidisson scores for Portsmouth in the 63rd minute on another questionable referee’s decision as all the Burnley defenders had their hands up signaling what sure looked like an offsides. In the 83rd minute Didane scores again on a beautiful header off a cross to make it 2-0 for Portsmouth, bringing the first upset of my sports marathon. The victor’s three points allow Portsmouth to climb out of the EPL cellar.

9:00 AM: The opening game of the Eastern Mass. high school football Super Bowls from Gillette Stadium, Holliston vs. Austin Prep in Division 3A on Comcast Sportsnet New England. Five more games will follow. The weather in Foxboro is the same as here, so all the games will be contested in rainy, snowy conditions. I don’t care about any until the last one which involves my old school, Bridgewater-Raynham, where I taught and coached for 34 years. But that doesn’t mean I won’t watch them. After all, they’re championships.

9:15 AM: ESPN 360 has the semi-finals of the Emirates Rugby Sevens tournament from Dubai. Fiji and New Zealand are meeting in front of a packed house of 30,000+ followed by England and Samoa. I’m fascinated by big sporting events no matter where they are played or what the sport. I remember getting goose bumps as Olivia Newton-John led over 100,000 Aussies singing Waltzing Matilda before the Grand Final of Australian Rules football at Melbourne Cricket Grounds years ago. And I’ll never forget a victorious England side receiving the World Cup trophy before another 100,000+ delirious Brits at Wembley in 1966. If it’s a big game, I’m interested.

9:30 AM: Marks the beginning of the German soccer match between Hamburg SV and TSG Hoffenheim, currently in 5th and 6th place in the Bundesliga, from Nordbank Arena in Hamburg on GOL TV. At 10:20 AM the score is a “surprising” 0-0 at the half. An interesting note is that Hamburg has FlyEmirates on its uniform and FlyEmirates is prominently displayed on the ads surrounding the field. Like rugby, Emirates Airline is all over soccer.

10:00 AM: I find the EPL again, this time on Fox Soccer Channel, with Arsenal, one of the heavyweights, hosting Stoke City. Andrei Arshavin scores for the Gunners at 26 minutes as Arsenal is dominating its middling rivals. Like in Hamburg, once again we find “Emirates” everywhere. FlyEmirates is on the front of the Arsenal shirts and displayed on the stadium ads, while the game is played in Emirates Stadium. (Emirates must be the Bud Light of Euroasian sports. Soccer overseas rivals NASCAR for obtrusive advertising. Players wear ads on their game shirts and fields are surrounded by electronic advertising boards. Even ads for bet365.com and 188bet. Tim Donaghy would be right at home. How long will it be before American pro teams have ads on their uniforms? Imagine the money an NFL team could get for wearing “Budweiser” on the front of their shirts.)

A quick check over at Comcast Sportsnet New England shows that Austin Prep is pummeling Holliston 38-15 early in the 4th quarter in the Division 3A final. Holliston just can’t handle AP’s spread offence. Meanwhile back in Hamburg, the fans continue to roar and sing in contrast to the Hoffenheim players who seem content to sit back and play for the tie. They succeed as the game ends 0-0, and Hamburg exits to a chorus of whistles from its disgusted fans.

11:40 AM: Almost time for lunch. Arsenal increases its lead to 2-0 as Aaron Ramsey, a 19 year old, blasts one from the 18 to essentially end Stoke’s hope for an upset. Four minutes of stoppage time extend the torture for Stoke as many of the 60,000 in attendance head for the exits to beat the crowd. Back at Gillette, Bishop Feehan and Marblehead are scoreless toward the end of the first half in a Division 3 match (or is it “fixture”?).

Noon: Marks the beginning of the real sports orgy: college football, college basketball, soccer, on and on. I’ll be forced to concentrate on the most meaningful games. That means the football conference championships and playoffs. But first to Europe where the Spanish Premier League kicks off with Xerez vs. Atletico Madrid on ESPN 360 and Sevilla vs. Valladolid on GOL TV. Sevilla is the only decent team in this group as the others are flirting in the relegation zone, so I’ll ignore them all. Besides, a huge match in the EPL starts at 12:30 with Manchester City hosting first place Chelsea on Fox Soccer Channel. 12:30 also brings one of the top early season college basketball matchups, North Carolina at Kentucky. On a different Saturday this ACC/SEC blockbuster would rate as the premier event, but today it’s an afterthought.

Top football game at noon looks like Cincinnati at Pittsburgh for the Big East title. It’s snowing and 32 degrees at Heinz Field for the kickoff. At the same time Houston is at East Carolina in the Conference USA final. I put the Houston game on ESPN 360 and the Big East game on TV, alternating with the EPL game. So much action it’s hard to keep up. Too bad I can’t use a clicker on the computer. Both football games are 7-7 in the first quarter, while Chelsea has jumped out in front of Man City at the 8 minute mark. On Chelsea’s goal, Shea Given, the Man City goalie, made two spectacular saves before a rebound went in off the back Emmanuel Adebayor for an own goal. Of course, since this is England, the rain is pouring down. Soccer can be the most boring of sports, but two top EPL teams going at each other provide end to end excitement.

1:00 PM: Bishop Feehan runs off tackle for a 4 yard touchdown to cap a 75 yard drive with 13 seconds left in the game to beat Marblehead 12-6. High school sports can be every bit as exciting as college or pro at times like this. Meanwhile Pittsburgh leads Cincinnati 21-10 as both teams struggle with footing in the snow. Houston leads East Carolina 13-7. At the same time in Lexington, Kentucky, UK is beating UNC by 16 points with 7 minutes to go in the first half. Across the pond Man City has tied up Chelsea 1-1 as Adebayor scored in the 37th minute to make up for his own goal earlier.

1:30 PM: Pitt goes ahead of Cincinnati 31-10 and looks like it’s headed for a romp with just over a minute left in the half. But Cinci’s Mardy Gilyard returns the ensuing kickoff 99 yards to bring his team back to a 14 point deficit. Pitt gets the ball, goes three and out, and punts to Cincy with 44 seconds left. The teams then trade interceptions, believe it or not, and Cincy gets the ball back with around 25 seconds left inside the Pitt 40 yard line. But a 55 yard field goal attempt sails wide and the half ends 31-17 Pitt. In Foxboro Marshfield and Masconomet are scoreless after one quarter in the Division 2A final. In England Man City has just gone ahead 2-1 on a Carlos Tevez direct kick from 20 yards out past Chelsea keeper Petr Cech.

2:00 PM: A few more contests join the mix. From Estadio Santiago Bernabeu in Madrid comes Real Madrid, one of the royalty of European soccer, vs. a middling Almeria on GOL TV. In college football Altitude Sports Network in Colorado has the FCS playoff game between Stephen F. Austin and Montana from Missoula, MT. This game is a solid contender for worst playing conditions of the day award as the gametime temperature is 22 degrees with snow in the forecast. At the same time, UNC has cut Kentucky’s lead to five points with 9 minutes to go in the game. Back in England (I’d say the UK, but that would confuse Kentucky fans, wouldn’t it?) Chelsea can’t equalize with Man City as Shea Given makes a great save on a penalty kick by Chelsea star Frank Lampard at the 82 minute mark. Later the Man City fans moan as five minutes of stoppage time are added. (Stoppage time is an interesting concept fraught with potential for abuse in which extra time is arbitrarily added to make up for times when the game has been stopped, essentially allowing the referee to end a game whenever he wants.)

2:30 PM: Manchester City has pulled off the upset over Chelsea, 2-1, North Carolina has cut Kentucky’s lead to 3 points with 2 minutes to go, Cincinnati has gone within one touchdown of Pitt at 31-24, East Carolina is up 24-19 over Houston, and Marshfield is winning 13-0 at Gillette. Meanwhile a gigantic Italian Serie A game is kicking off at Estadio d’Olimpico in Turin where third place Juventus hosts first place Inter Milan on Fox Soccer Channel. (I don’t know why it’s allowed in Italy, but the many flares and smoke bombs set off in the stands envelop the pitch like a soupy Maine coastal fog. One can barely distinguish the nets at either end.)
Pitt has increased its lead to 38-24, but Gilyard returns the next kickoff to the Pitt 22 yard line as the snow continues to fall. Meanwhile Kentucky hung on to win by two, 68-66 in the battle of top ten teams. Cincy punches in a score, but the extra point attempt hits the upright and goes wide making the score 38-30 Pitt. Houston has just scored on a Case Keenum TD pass and trails East Carolina 31-26 with ten minutes left. Keenum has already completed 47 passes today. That’s amazing.

With 20 minutes played in Turin, Juventus goes up 1-0 when a long free kick was deflected in front off a player’s hip, changed direction, and slid into the far corner of the net. Irate Inter coach Jose Mourinho gets ejected from the sidelines shortly after. Now the game, being played in a driving, cold rain, is beginning to get nasty and the referee handing out cards at a frantic pace. (The weather is horrible all over the world today, it seems.) Inter is pressing and Gianluigi Buffon, the Juve keeper, makes a diving save. But Inter finally breaks through on a fine header by Samuel Eto’o off a short cross in the 26th minute.

With 5:48 to go, Cincy ties the score at 38-38 on a short pass over the middle to Gilyard followed by a two point conversion. 5 minutes left. Meanwhile in Greensboro, East Carolina scored, but Keenum threw a 25 yard TD pass and the score is now 38-32 East Carolina. (Talk about great games! My head is spinning as I furiously work the clicker trying to keep up.) With 1:36 to go, Pitt’s fabulous freshman Dion Lewis goes in from the four, but the holder bobbles the snap on the extra point attempt, so Pitt leads 44-38. But how important will that miss be? Gilyard returns the ensuing kickoff 26 yards to the Cincy 40, and two passes get the ball to the Pitt 29 with 39 seconds left. Then Tony Pike completes a TD pass to Armon Binns to tie the game. The extra point is good and Cincy goes up by one. Pity the poor Pitt kid who bobbled the extra point snap. Final score: Cincinnati 45, Pitt 44. Back in North Carolina, EC has held on for a 38-32 victory over Houston despite Case Keenum’s completing 56 out of 75 passes for 527 yards and 5 touchdowns. Three interceptions hurt.

4:00 PM: Time for the supposed highlight of the day, Florida vs. Alabama for the SEC championship and a berth in the national title game. But the Juventus-Inter game remains too interesting to leave. Juve is up 2-1 with a couple of minutes left. However, after an altercation resulted in a red card, Juve are down to ten men. Inter players continue to dive left and right trying to get calls, one aspect of soccer I can’t stand. Inter is pressing, but if there is one thing any Italian team can do, it’s sit on a lead, and that’s what Juve does. The game finally ends after 4 minutes of stoppage time with Inter suffering only its second loss of the year.

When I return to the SEC title game, Alabama is leading 9-0. Alabama’s defense is tough, and Florida’s star quarterback Tim Tebow looks a little rattled. Over at Gillette Stadium Marshfield has won 13-12, and right now Reading is beating Natick, alma mater of Doug Flutie, 20-0 near the end of the third quarter in the Division 2 final. Back in Atlanta, Florida gets on the board with a field goal near the end of the first quarter. On Comcast Sports New England, in a FCS playoff game New Hampshire is losing at Villanova 24-0 at the half. This game definitely gets the lousy weather award as it’s snowing heavily with what looks like two or three inches on the ground. Also a factor is the worst lighting I’ve ever seen on a football field. Meanwhile on ESPN 360, Boise State is leading New Mexico State 28-0 at the half, and one of my favorite soccer teams, Barcelona, is tied 1-1 with host Deportivo La Coruna at the half.

5:30 PM: Heading into my 11th hour of non-stop sports, Alabama has extended its lead over Florida to 19-10 following a long 69 yard screen pass and run from Heisman candidate Mark Ingram and a short run for the TD. These are two terrific teams. Florida comes right back with a 59 yard pass and run of its own in the next series taking it to the Bama 22. This leads to a field goal and a 19-13 Alabama lead at the half. Back in Spain, Barcelona is in front on an 80th minute goal by Argentine Lionel Messi, its FIFA Player of the Year candidate, his second of the game, which proves to be the game winner. At Gillette the rain has changed to snow and Xaverian and Everett are scoreless with three minutes left in the first quarter in their Division 1 final. Arizona and USC are on ABC, but who cares? They’re tied at 14 starting the 4th quarter. (A meaningless USC game in December … who would have thought?)

6:30 PM: Alabama has extended its lead over Florida to 26-13. Bama’s quarterback Greg McElroy looks more like a Heisman candidate than Tebow, and every time they need some yards, Ingram gets them. Plus Nick Saban is outcoaching Urban Meyer with different formations and innovative play calling. For example, Bama just lined up two tight ends to the right, one in the slot. Anyone could see that Florida was outmanned on that side and, sure enough, Bama ran Ingram to that side and picked up a quick 8 yards and a first down. Finally Ingram busts barely into the end zone, and Bama now leads 32-13. If Tebow can bring Florida back now against Bama’s defense, he deserves player of the century, not just the Heisman. Meanwhile USC just lost to Arizona 21-17. How about that! And in Foxboro Xaverian is winning 22-0 late in the third quarter in a heavy snowstorm. Tebow marches Florida deep into Bama territory, then tosses a bad interception in the end zone. The fat lady is singing for Bama.

7:00 PM: Saturday normally means hockey night in the Crane mancave. Usually I like to watch the Hockey Night in Canada feed on the NHL network, but tonight’s HNIC telecast is Bruins-Leafs, so the feed is blacked out here, and I’ll have to watch the game on NESN. That also means I’ll miss Coach’s Corner with Don Cherry, a HNIC staple during the first intermission. Tonight marks the return of Phil Kessel to Boston for the first time since his trade to the Leafs. Somehow I’ll have to fit this game in around the Big 12 and ACC football championships that begin at 8:00. Plus I want to watch my old school, Bridgewater-Raynham, play Gloucester in the Division 1A Super Bowl at Gillette Stadium, also beginning at 8:00. Good challenge.

The Bruins are flying tonight as they lead the Leafs 3-0 early in the second period. Unfortunately, B-R fumbled at their 6 on their first possession and currently are losing 13-0 midway through the first quarter. Could be a long night for the Trojans. It’s still snowing hard in Foxboro. Looks like a Patriots’ playoff game. Nebraska just got on the board first with a field goal against Texas in the Big 12 game, while Clemson’s exciting C.J. Spiller has put his club ahead 7-3 midway through the first quarter in the ACC. In college hockey Wisconsin is at home against Michigan Tech in a WCHA game on Fox Sports Wisconsin and leading 2-0 with 3 minutes to go in the first period on two power play goals during a MT major penalty.
With 5 minutes left in the 2nd period, the Bruins up their lead to 4-0 as Michael Ryder sets up Mark Savard for a chip shot top shelf just to goalie Joey MacDonald’s right. Meanwhile Nebraska kicks a 52 yard field goal to increase its lead over Texas to 6-0. My B-R team is coming back in the snow at Foxboro, now trailing only 13-7 with 3 minutes left in the half. (Good for them. I know most of the coaches, and a number of the players are sons of my former students and players.) Unfortunately, Gloucester throws a TD pass with 50 seconds left in the half, then fails on a two point conversion, to go up 19-7. Neil Harrington of B-R returns the ensuing kickoff to midfield giving them a shot for a late score. But although B-R completes a couple of passes, they can’t get a score.

9:30 PM: Things could not be going better for the Bruins. They just scored two goals in 19 seconds, the first defenseman Johnny Boychuk’s initial NHL point and the second Mark Savard’s third of the game, to extend their lead to 7-0. As one would expect, Jamal Mayers of Toronto starts a fight with Steve Begin off the next faceoff. The Leafs are trying to salvage something in this nationally televised (in Canada) contest. The Leafs then score a couple of meaningless goals in garbage time near the end of the game costing Tuukka Rask a shutout and the final score is 7-2. Wisconsin continues to pummel Michigan Tech, 5-0, in the third. Meanwhile a real good WCHA matchup between Denver and Colorado College is on Fox Sports Rocky Mountain. Denver is rated #2 in the nation while CC is #5. After one period it’s a 2-2 tie. Joe Colburn, the Bruins #1 draft pick in the 2008 draft, is a sophomore at DU, so any DU game is of interest. He’s come a long way in the past two years and is now DU’s top center. But he’s still at least a year away from the NHL. He needs a lot more meat on him.

10:00 PM: My B-R Trojans are 4 minutes away from a 33-7 defeat. Coach Danny Buron is clearing his bench, giving his subs an opportunity to say they played on the big stage. The two college conference finals in the Big 12 and ACC are surprisingly competitive entering the 2nd half. Georgia Tech leads Clemson 16-13, while Texas scored near the end of the first half for a 7-6 lead over Nebraska.

(You can’t watch everything, so I’ve chosen to ignore hoops for the most part. Right now I could watch Washington State-Kansas State on ESPNU, New Mexico State-New Mexico on the Mountain, Southern Utah-Oral Roberts on FoxCollege Sports, or The Nuggets-Spurs on NBA Network. I could also see more soccer on Fox Soccer Channel with the USA-Brazil U-17 friendly, the Mexican League doubleheader on Telemundo, or the Colombian League on GOL TV. But I really enjoy college football and hockey.)

10:30 PM: Georgia Tech is starting to pull away from Clemson. A 70 yard pass and run on a hitch and go route puts them ahead 30-20 with 5 minutes left in the 3rd quarter. Texas, meanwhile, is having all kinds of trouble moving the ball on a tough Nebraska defense, but downs a pooch punt on the Nebraska 1 yard line. A Nebraska punt gives Texas good field position at the Nebraska 45. Texas goes nowhere, pooches another punt, and downs it on the 5. This is like Groundhog Day. Talk about boring. Time for some hockey. DU has gone ahead of CC 4-2 and is now on a power play. They can’t score, and the 2nd period ends 4-2.

11:00 PM: Clemson has moved to within 6 points at 33-27 on a nice run by Spiller. This is definitely the best game tonight. Meanwhile CC scores on a shorthanded breakaway to make it 4-3 DU. Nebraska just misses a TD pass and settles for a field goal, moving to within one of Texas at 10-9. Back in Tampa, Clemson stops GT on downs, takes over, and C.J. Spiller takes off for 54 yards to the GT 9 yard line. On 3rd and goal from the one, Andre Ellington dives over the pile for the TD to tie the game. The extra point is good, and Clemson now leads by one with 6 minutes to play. Meanwhile Jones of Nebraska rips the ball right out of the Texas receiver’s hands for an interception at their own 30. Both football games are now one pointers. Nebraska moves methodically down the field to the Texas 25 with less than 2 minutes remaining. The man is now Chris Henery, Nebraska’s field goal kicker. He calmly steps into the ball and splits the uprights giving Nebraska a 2 point lead with 1:44 left.

Nebraska’s kickoff goes out of bounds, giving Texas the ball at the 40, a huge mistake for Nebraska. On the next play, Texas completes a pass plus gets a 15 yard Nebraska penalty tacked on. Nebraska is beating itself. Meanwhile in the ACC, Jonathan Dwyer’s 15 yard run gives Georgia Tech a 39-34 lead with 1:20 to go. They get a 2 point conversion, but it’s overturned on review, so GT keeps the 5 point lead. Texas almost blows it as Colt McCoy rolls out and throws the ball away with no time left on the clock. Nebraska thinks the game is over, but an official review says one second is left. Texas now has time try a 46 yard field goal with 1 second to go. Hunter Lawrence’s kick is good, Texas wins and will go to the BCS Championship to play Alabama. Poor Nebraska … so close to a huge upset. Clemson gets stopped on 4th down with 29 seconds left. GT wins the ACC championship.

I end the day appropriately enough in Denver in overtime with DU and CC tied at 4. DU gets a rare OT power play and storms the CC net, but CC hangs on and the game ends in a tie. I could continue on with the Wisconsin-Hawaii football game just starting at Aloha Stadium in Honolulu, but I’ve had enough.

11:45 PM: 7:30 AM to 11:45 PM, 16 hours and 15 minutes of continuous sports, 31 live games, my all time record. In response to my wife, I can now say, “Yes, through sheer willpower and enjoyment, I can sit and watch sports all day. No, I don’t care who wins, other than the Bruins, with whom I’ve lived and died for nearly 60 years, and Bridgewater-Raynham High School, my home town school and former employer for 34 years. And finally, yes, you’re probably right … I am nuts.”